score: Storm 82 Sparks 47 (W) (11-8)
Photos | Scott
know this should be a game report, but what game was there?
None that I could see. The Storm were excellent under the
basket and very accurate from outside. The Sparks were a mess
of random line ups that never clicked. Spencer must have checked
in and out of the game a dozen times. The second quarter sucked
for both teams.
Now the fun stuff. I will have pictures but they are all thanks
to Sass's freaky mind control. I took my camera to a Staples
security checkpoint (just like at an airport) and the thugs
jumped all over the 135mm lens, complaining that it was longer
than 3.5 inches. Yep, it is probably very close to four inches
therefore it would not be allowed into the Church of Staples
and would have to be taken back to the car. Another security
twit yelled that he recognized that I had a "professional"
camera. Yeah, so what? Don't you have a mall to patrol?
As Sass and I went around the perimeter of the behemoth building,
she noticed a lone entry way with no line and a very bored
security person. Even better, it was under an overhang and
very dark. I put my dangerous lens into my bag vertically
so its offensive length would not be visible. Sass went in
before me and used her freaky powers into making him see nothing
but darkness when he looked into my bag. Yes, we had infiltrated
Staples' iron tight security!
Our seats were in a pretty rowdy bunch of kids right behind
the basket. We moved to a corner section that was full of
kids from a private school who acted more like they were watching
a golf game. Good move. There is always plenty of empty seats
I can tell you a few more things I don't like about Staples.
The grade of the seats is so flat that by the tenth row you're
better off watching it on the Jumbotron, except it's so high
up you'll get a stiff neck trying to watch it. And during
timeouts when normal arenas are showing basketball things
like replays and statistics on their Jumbotron's, Staples
is showing commercials for things like amusement parks. Commercials
for f's sake! It's just like watching the game on television
except if you want to mute the commercials, you have to plug
I should say something nice. The Sparks' new mascot Sparky
is a cute dog and the kids love him. So thumbs up on new Sparky.
OK, when I got to the gate for my flight to Seattle, I was
stunned to find AD and a few Storm players there. Yep, I was
going to be on their flight. Now I have to admit that I'm
embarrassingly shy around women basketball players. I've seen
them do superhuman feats and I'm a mere mortal, so at first
I hid and didn't say anything to them. Then Izzy walked pasted
me and I said "Hi Izzy" and tried to ask her how
many points she scored and so on but I kept saying mostly
random words in no logical order. I've been up since 4:30AM.
Eventually she understood, answered my question, smiled and
ran off. She probably thought I spoke a strange dialect of
English she hadn't heard yet.
But as more Storm folk arrived, it was getting weird sitting
there with a Storm t-shirt and not talking to anyone. Once
Adia and Katie (still with her Purdue backpack) sat next to
me, I texted Sass who recommended I talk to Adia because she'll
talk to anyone. And she was right! I asked Adia if she knew
if that was the biggest win we'd had over the Sparks (yes,
a complete intelligible sentence!) and she said yes, and we
talked about the spanking they gave the Sparks a few years
ago when the Sparks did some rude things at the beginning
of the game. She even recognized me from the game in Chicago
when I had talked to her for about ten seconds.
The next thing I knew she had her videocam out and was interviewing
me for some "Behind the Storm" thing on the WNBA
website (if I understood correctly). And it was lots of fun.
She's a great interviewer and it helped that our trainer worked
for the Fire and related to some of my Fire stories. It also
helped that Katie smiled and laughed at the dumb things I
said. I also said some things like how much better the Key
is than many other WNBA crowds (I cited Minnesota as seeming
to have only 1,600 people at their games) so I'm sure you'll
never see those parts on any web site.
As we made our way to the gate and our flight was delayed
a few more times, something really cute happened. I kept my
distance from the Storm folk naturally and found myself standing
around some Army guys in fatigues. One of these soldiers was
really checking out Shyra while his buddies were trying to
get him to talk to her. So he did what anyone trained in the
Art of War would do: send out an advance scout to scope out
the territory. While his fellow soldier casually went up to
Shyra like he was going to ask for directions, I swear the
smitten soldier was safely hiding behind a pillar, listening
to them talk. America's Finest!
Once he heard that the Storm players don't bite, he and another
soldier came up and started talking to Shyra, with Wendy and
eventually Katie and possibly others joining in on the funny
conversation. At one point Shyra pointed to his uniform and
said, "Your uniform says 'Ranger'. Does that mean you're
like a top soldier?" Eventually the whole gang of them
were laughing and it was so cool to see how much personality
our players have in a crowd. Too bad I had my camera packed
at that point but someone on the Storm staff took a picture
After a few more flight delays, I finally pulled out my camera
and took a few bad shots. Unfortunately Adia smiled at me
and shook her finger requesting "No more pictures until
tomorrow!" Dunno if that request came from the team.
I only took seven.
And in case people need real trivia: LJ sat in first class
while the team sat in the emergency exit rows since they have
more leg room.